Having just read and connected to two very poignant articles about the early 90's grunge movement, I've been brought on to feel a wonderful sense of nostalgia as I remember fond and vivid accounts of my early musical discoveries. Looking back on those years, 1990-95 respectively, I'm quickly reminded of bands like Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Alice and Chains, Jane's Addiction, Soundgarden, Stone Temple Pilots and the Smashing Pumpkins. Bands who's rise powered a new generation of fans as they also helped (thankfully) usher in the death of Guns n' Roses and 80's heavy metal rock. A new guard was emerging and I was front and centre for it all. It was a great time to be a kid and new music lover. Back then you had walkmans (and I actually walked...yes kids did that once), shitty black spongy headphones and cassette tapes. Ahh cassette tapes oh how I miss thee. Making mix tapes was the best. It was a time where spending saturday afternoons in record stores meant something. You wanted to be that kid who knew everything about music. It was also a time where if you supported Nirvana then you had to hate Pearl Jam. EWW WAIT did I just write all that? ugh I am getting old, that was almost 20 years ago. Yikes! (sigh). Okay well you get my point.
Anyways...these references and my sudden ageism aside, I'm moved to remind myself of some of the feelings and moments with which I associate these artists. For example, when the words "Nirvana" first enter my psyche, even to this day, I'm still brought back to one singular event. I'm 12 years old, naive as shit and playing dodgeball at school when all of a sudden I hear 3 girls in my class screaming full tilt to "come as you are" as it was being played by their ghetto blaster. Freaked out by what I was seeing and hearing at the time, this lasting image gives me much pleasure as I tend to believe this introduction was somewhat quite fitting for the type of band Nirvana were to become. Their jump onto the national music scene in 91' with their album "Nevermind" brought with it much attention and vigor that kids of all ages (except me) couldn't help but join along for the ride. I must profess however, that for all the praise Nirvana received for their music it wasn't until recently that I became a fan. Back then I was so jaded by their constant in your face bravado that I tried my hardest to hate everything Nirvana, even going so far as to never listening to their music. (Actually I just thought it would be cool to be the only kid who DIDN'T like Nirvana in some vein attempt at being original thinking it would somehow make me more interesting to the girls in my class. Didn't work. Fuck!) Looking back on my short sidedness now, I laugh at how juvenile I was (really what sane kid wants to be different in elementary school? You want to FIT IN not be different, ugh what was I thinking?) in my handling of their fame and musical popularity. In fact, I actually enjoy their music, as I've found myself quite often playing it repeatedly.
As for Pearl Jam, instantly I'm brough back to being in my step dad's basement. I'm sitting there on the sofa with my older sister and two brothers as we watched in awe as Eddie Vedder lost his mind while singing "Jeremy" at lollapalooza. At that moment all I wanted to be was a rock star, it seemed so fun and cool. Wait a second....IT STILL IS! Why oh why didn't I learn to play the guitar? Grrr...stupid me. STUPID!!! (Sigh) As for Soundgarden, well I'm always brought back to my brother and I in his stupid 82' firebird (what a piece of shit that thing was), as the two of us sing along to "fell on black days". A simple reminder but a good one.
However, coupled with these references and many others I'm left to wonder. Had it not been for my older siblings would I have been so in tune to the early 90's musical landscape? Hmm? Maybe. Maybe not. But what it does tell me is that I was one lucky sob to have been able to actually understand (well at least somewhat) this time period. So if you weren't in tune or alive then well...ha ha!
Not much else to say here, however, do throw me some comments if you'd like to add to this or if you have any thoughts or memories to share.
later.
ps. here's the link to those articles if you're interested in reading on further.
http://www.avclub.com/features/whatever-happened-to-alternative-nation/
pps. For the record, the Smashing Pumpkins "Siamese Dream" is the seminal album of that time period, nothing can touch it.
1 comment:
Upon hearing Live's Lightening Crashes I'm immediately taken to Jason's basement where a pre-teen slow dance party is in full effect. Being my first of such parties, I'm very nervous and shy. My crush is there, Ryan....he's as dreamy as ever: brilliant smile, soft and thin hazelnut hair shaped in a popular mushroom cut and the athletic body of an all-star 15 year old.
The aformentioned song begins. Ryan returns from the bathroom while I secretly gaze at him from the couch corner. Almost everyone is paired up and slow dancing. I try and act cool as Ryan approaches my couch. Surely he must simply be looking for a comfy seat. My fantasies couldn't possibly be coming true. I muster up all 'coolness' I've ever learnt and reply with a "sure" to Ryan's outstretched hand and question of, "Do you wanna dance?"
Someone, an angel, turns the lights off. Finally my face can honestly portray my inner feelings of shock and absolute bliss intertwined together like a sailor's cord. I want to close the standard gap between Ryan and I. I gather all my courage and begin to gently caress the back of his neck. The edge of his haircut tickles my knuckles and my knees feel weak. Ryan reads the cue perfectly and smoothly pulls my body against his.
I'm pulled out of my utopia with the realization that the song is nearing its end. Maybe Ryan realized the same because at that moment, I felt his soft lips kiss my neck. His cheek pressed against mine as he led his lips to mine. We kissed, then he shoved his tounge down my throat....literaly. I pulled frantically away and gagged.
Someone, a devil, turned the lights back on and everyone saw me bent over trying to calm my throat while Ryan looked mortified.
Funny how fantisies are so often better than the real thing.
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