As it stands right now I'm supremely hungover, which shouldn't surprise you considering I'm now on holidays. However, I thought I'd share again for you all a new cocktail I whipped up recently.
The inspiration for this decadent treat came from my favorite blog, the cocktail chronicles. It's a twist on their Stone Fruit Sour. Enjoy! :)
Fruit Sour
3/4 oz Gin
3/4 oz Lillet Blanc
3/4 oz Peach Liqeur
3/4 oz lemon juice
2 dashes orange bitters
using a mixing glass add all ingredients
then add ice and shake for 10 seconds
pour into a chilled cocktail glass. Yum!
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Friday, December 17, 2010
the madness
there are days when I try and decipher the meaning of my existence as a means to something. i want to exhibit qualities that better demonstrate the need and desire of good but...
the energy it takes for a person to look inwards while trying to understand what they see can be excruciating. you only see what you want to see and that's the problem.
deciding to buy that suitcase in the window can be a problem. what will you fill it with?, travelling while lost can be pointless. save your money and buy a bike, a smoke and sip away your sorrows.
the nerve of someone telling you to sit through their kids christmas concert is madness. the kid hates you and they surely hate having me there. be nice and send flowers.
asking someone where they bought that t-shirt is like saying "hey can I dress like you?" be nice and original. go shopping.
i wanna see if there are any kids out there as nuts as i am, that way I'll take pictures of them now before they realize how nuts they are. hehe! suckers!
there are days when all I want to wear is angora...hmm?
in the end all you need is a cookie.
the energy it takes for a person to look inwards while trying to understand what they see can be excruciating. you only see what you want to see and that's the problem.
deciding to buy that suitcase in the window can be a problem. what will you fill it with?, travelling while lost can be pointless. save your money and buy a bike, a smoke and sip away your sorrows.
the nerve of someone telling you to sit through their kids christmas concert is madness. the kid hates you and they surely hate having me there. be nice and send flowers.
asking someone where they bought that t-shirt is like saying "hey can I dress like you?" be nice and original. go shopping.
i wanna see if there are any kids out there as nuts as i am, that way I'll take pictures of them now before they realize how nuts they are. hehe! suckers!
there are days when all I want to wear is angora...hmm?
in the end all you need is a cookie.
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Monday, December 13, 2010
you, me and 53
when I was 6 I dreamt it would be me
I'd be on the top
you on my right
you on my left
me on top
wave and say goodbye
you taught me so much
stand tall boy
never look down and
run run run
look forward
never back
stand tall
training was endless
me, you, us and 53
all together
fused as one
championships came
we succeeded
I still want more
once in a lifetime dreams come by with nothing but a whisper next to your eye
I'd be on the top
you on my right
you on my left
me on top
wave and say goodbye
you taught me so much
stand tall boy
never look down and
run run run
look forward
never back
stand tall
training was endless
me, you, us and 53
all together
fused as one
championships came
we succeeded
I still want more
once in a lifetime dreams come by with nothing but a whisper next to your eye
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
the last chapter
here's another entry of something I started working on a few years back.
No. 13
To describe the most prominent and relevant events of one's life can be somewhat rewarding and painful. For some, looking back on certain moments can be a pleasure to revel in what they have accomplished and achieved or left behind. Not for me however as I've done many things in my life, of which most we're wrong, evil, bad or whatever you want to call it. I know this and I accept it, that's why I'm here in this cell. But if there ever was one moment in my life where I knew that things we're "right" or "good", it was when I met her. Alessandra was her name and boy did I go gaga. My father had a saying he used to say to me that always comes to mind when I think of that first encounter with her, "Son you may be rich and have all this and that, but at the end of the day if you have no one to share it with, what's the point to anything, so find a good girl and love her unfailingly, with all your heart". I hate to admit it, my father had a point. He was right then and he's right now, I only wish I would have taken his advice and not screwed up things so much.
Fuck I hate this! My mind is so cluttered with emotions and passions that have been kept locked up for so many years that dealing with them has rendered me almost incapacitated. I only have 2 1/2 weeks left before my execution and all I can do is write. I can't eat, I've lost nearly 15 pounds over the last month, I can't sleep, I can't do anything, all I do is think. I want to get this out of me before it's too late. My heart needs me to.
Even now I remember that day as if it were yesterday. Alessandra had locked eyes with me as I was passing Pedro in his study. I'd been at his mansion for weeks now and had never even heard or seen of her. Her radiant beauty caught me and stilted my soul. I'd never felt that way about anything, to have this feeling of "I'd do anything for you" rushing up from my toes to my head made me feel, to be blunt almost lightheaded. As Pedro continued on to his study I stopped and stared at her, as she did to me. At the time I was almost 23 and starting to finally enjoy my appearance, which of late had been the appearance of a randy haired boy with the odd bit of facial hair in the worst possible places. But at that moment I didn't care, I just reacted and moved forward. She had the air of someone much older than her age, I presumed her to be around 17 or 18, but I didn't care, she was an ageless angel to me.
As I write this, I can only look back and realize my youthful exuberance. Boy I had it bad for her at that moment. I do realize that it was just a moment, but to me it was the best and longest moment of my life. And seriously isn't that really what life is?, a series of moments put together to form a life. Whatever you want to call it, I just love remembering my unjaded self. Life really is a bitch and it can certainly fuck you up, even to the point of where you give up. I'm trying desperately not to do that right now, even if my life has no meaning anymore. Remembering is all I have, all I can live for, I need to continue doing it or there will be no reason to live on these last few days.
Continuing on with my life's most memorable moment, Alessandra moved with me as we continued to get closer. I just wanted to hear her voice, to see how she moved her lips and everything else. However, like most things we want in life, we have to be patient and that's just what happened to me then. For Pedro came by my side and called me to come with him, something urgent had happened. Worst timing ever! But just as he was pulling my away, I continued to look at her, hoping to never leave her gaze. I said goodbye, wishing she would say the same, but she said nothing. She just walked away, smiling.
When she was out of site, Pedro who had noticed my admiration with his niece immediately took instant action to let me know how he felt about it. She was to be off limits, no questions asked. She had been promised for another. I was left reeling, like I'd been hit with a ton of bricks, with the words off limits and taken resonating in my mind over and over.
Fuck!
This wasn't the end of it.
It couldn't be.
No. 13
To describe the most prominent and relevant events of one's life can be somewhat rewarding and painful. For some, looking back on certain moments can be a pleasure to revel in what they have accomplished and achieved or left behind. Not for me however as I've done many things in my life, of which most we're wrong, evil, bad or whatever you want to call it. I know this and I accept it, that's why I'm here in this cell. But if there ever was one moment in my life where I knew that things we're "right" or "good", it was when I met her. Alessandra was her name and boy did I go gaga. My father had a saying he used to say to me that always comes to mind when I think of that first encounter with her, "Son you may be rich and have all this and that, but at the end of the day if you have no one to share it with, what's the point to anything, so find a good girl and love her unfailingly, with all your heart". I hate to admit it, my father had a point. He was right then and he's right now, I only wish I would have taken his advice and not screwed up things so much.
Fuck I hate this! My mind is so cluttered with emotions and passions that have been kept locked up for so many years that dealing with them has rendered me almost incapacitated. I only have 2 1/2 weeks left before my execution and all I can do is write. I can't eat, I've lost nearly 15 pounds over the last month, I can't sleep, I can't do anything, all I do is think. I want to get this out of me before it's too late. My heart needs me to.
Even now I remember that day as if it were yesterday. Alessandra had locked eyes with me as I was passing Pedro in his study. I'd been at his mansion for weeks now and had never even heard or seen of her. Her radiant beauty caught me and stilted my soul. I'd never felt that way about anything, to have this feeling of "I'd do anything for you" rushing up from my toes to my head made me feel, to be blunt almost lightheaded. As Pedro continued on to his study I stopped and stared at her, as she did to me. At the time I was almost 23 and starting to finally enjoy my appearance, which of late had been the appearance of a randy haired boy with the odd bit of facial hair in the worst possible places. But at that moment I didn't care, I just reacted and moved forward. She had the air of someone much older than her age, I presumed her to be around 17 or 18, but I didn't care, she was an ageless angel to me.
As I write this, I can only look back and realize my youthful exuberance. Boy I had it bad for her at that moment. I do realize that it was just a moment, but to me it was the best and longest moment of my life. And seriously isn't that really what life is?, a series of moments put together to form a life. Whatever you want to call it, I just love remembering my unjaded self. Life really is a bitch and it can certainly fuck you up, even to the point of where you give up. I'm trying desperately not to do that right now, even if my life has no meaning anymore. Remembering is all I have, all I can live for, I need to continue doing it or there will be no reason to live on these last few days.
Continuing on with my life's most memorable moment, Alessandra moved with me as we continued to get closer. I just wanted to hear her voice, to see how she moved her lips and everything else. However, like most things we want in life, we have to be patient and that's just what happened to me then. For Pedro came by my side and called me to come with him, something urgent had happened. Worst timing ever! But just as he was pulling my away, I continued to look at her, hoping to never leave her gaze. I said goodbye, wishing she would say the same, but she said nothing. She just walked away, smiling.
When she was out of site, Pedro who had noticed my admiration with his niece immediately took instant action to let me know how he felt about it. She was to be off limits, no questions asked. She had been promised for another. I was left reeling, like I'd been hit with a ton of bricks, with the words off limits and taken resonating in my mind over and over.
Fuck!
This wasn't the end of it.
It couldn't be.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
An Alternative Landscape
Having just read and connected to two very poignant articles about the early 90's grunge movement, I've been brought on to feel a wonderful sense of nostalgia as I remember fond and vivid accounts of my early musical discoveries. Looking back on those years, 1990-95 respectively, I'm quickly reminded of bands like Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Alice and Chains, Jane's Addiction, Soundgarden, Stone Temple Pilots and the Smashing Pumpkins. Bands who's rise powered a new generation of fans as they also helped (thankfully) usher in the death of Guns n' Roses and 80's heavy metal rock. A new guard was emerging and I was front and centre for it all. It was a great time to be a kid and new music lover. Back then you had walkmans (and I actually walked...yes kids did that once), shitty black spongy headphones and cassette tapes. Ahh cassette tapes oh how I miss thee. Making mix tapes was the best. It was a time where spending saturday afternoons in record stores meant something. You wanted to be that kid who knew everything about music. It was also a time where if you supported Nirvana then you had to hate Pearl Jam. EWW WAIT did I just write all that? ugh I am getting old, that was almost 20 years ago. Yikes! (sigh). Okay well you get my point.
Anyways...these references and my sudden ageism aside, I'm moved to remind myself of some of the feelings and moments with which I associate these artists. For example, when the words "Nirvana" first enter my psyche, even to this day, I'm still brought back to one singular event. I'm 12 years old, naive as shit and playing dodgeball at school when all of a sudden I hear 3 girls in my class screaming full tilt to "come as you are" as it was being played by their ghetto blaster. Freaked out by what I was seeing and hearing at the time, this lasting image gives me much pleasure as I tend to believe this introduction was somewhat quite fitting for the type of band Nirvana were to become. Their jump onto the national music scene in 91' with their album "Nevermind" brought with it much attention and vigor that kids of all ages (except me) couldn't help but join along for the ride. I must profess however, that for all the praise Nirvana received for their music it wasn't until recently that I became a fan. Back then I was so jaded by their constant in your face bravado that I tried my hardest to hate everything Nirvana, even going so far as to never listening to their music. (Actually I just thought it would be cool to be the only kid who DIDN'T like Nirvana in some vein attempt at being original thinking it would somehow make me more interesting to the girls in my class. Didn't work. Fuck!) Looking back on my short sidedness now, I laugh at how juvenile I was (really what sane kid wants to be different in elementary school? You want to FIT IN not be different, ugh what was I thinking?) in my handling of their fame and musical popularity. In fact, I actually enjoy their music, as I've found myself quite often playing it repeatedly.
As for Pearl Jam, instantly I'm brough back to being in my step dad's basement. I'm sitting there on the sofa with my older sister and two brothers as we watched in awe as Eddie Vedder lost his mind while singing "Jeremy" at lollapalooza. At that moment all I wanted to be was a rock star, it seemed so fun and cool. Wait a second....IT STILL IS! Why oh why didn't I learn to play the guitar? Grrr...stupid me. STUPID!!! (Sigh) As for Soundgarden, well I'm always brought back to my brother and I in his stupid 82' firebird (what a piece of shit that thing was), as the two of us sing along to "fell on black days". A simple reminder but a good one.
However, coupled with these references and many others I'm left to wonder. Had it not been for my older siblings would I have been so in tune to the early 90's musical landscape? Hmm? Maybe. Maybe not. But what it does tell me is that I was one lucky sob to have been able to actually understand (well at least somewhat) this time period. So if you weren't in tune or alive then well...ha ha!
Not much else to say here, however, do throw me some comments if you'd like to add to this or if you have any thoughts or memories to share.
later.
ps. here's the link to those articles if you're interested in reading on further.
http://www.avclub.com/features/whatever-happened-to-alternative-nation/
pps. For the record, the Smashing Pumpkins "Siamese Dream" is the seminal album of that time period, nothing can touch it.
Anyways...these references and my sudden ageism aside, I'm moved to remind myself of some of the feelings and moments with which I associate these artists. For example, when the words "Nirvana" first enter my psyche, even to this day, I'm still brought back to one singular event. I'm 12 years old, naive as shit and playing dodgeball at school when all of a sudden I hear 3 girls in my class screaming full tilt to "come as you are" as it was being played by their ghetto blaster. Freaked out by what I was seeing and hearing at the time, this lasting image gives me much pleasure as I tend to believe this introduction was somewhat quite fitting for the type of band Nirvana were to become. Their jump onto the national music scene in 91' with their album "Nevermind" brought with it much attention and vigor that kids of all ages (except me) couldn't help but join along for the ride. I must profess however, that for all the praise Nirvana received for their music it wasn't until recently that I became a fan. Back then I was so jaded by their constant in your face bravado that I tried my hardest to hate everything Nirvana, even going so far as to never listening to their music. (Actually I just thought it would be cool to be the only kid who DIDN'T like Nirvana in some vein attempt at being original thinking it would somehow make me more interesting to the girls in my class. Didn't work. Fuck!) Looking back on my short sidedness now, I laugh at how juvenile I was (really what sane kid wants to be different in elementary school? You want to FIT IN not be different, ugh what was I thinking?) in my handling of their fame and musical popularity. In fact, I actually enjoy their music, as I've found myself quite often playing it repeatedly.
As for Pearl Jam, instantly I'm brough back to being in my step dad's basement. I'm sitting there on the sofa with my older sister and two brothers as we watched in awe as Eddie Vedder lost his mind while singing "Jeremy" at lollapalooza. At that moment all I wanted to be was a rock star, it seemed so fun and cool. Wait a second....IT STILL IS! Why oh why didn't I learn to play the guitar? Grrr...stupid me. STUPID!!! (Sigh) As for Soundgarden, well I'm always brought back to my brother and I in his stupid 82' firebird (what a piece of shit that thing was), as the two of us sing along to "fell on black days". A simple reminder but a good one.
However, coupled with these references and many others I'm left to wonder. Had it not been for my older siblings would I have been so in tune to the early 90's musical landscape? Hmm? Maybe. Maybe not. But what it does tell me is that I was one lucky sob to have been able to actually understand (well at least somewhat) this time period. So if you weren't in tune or alive then well...ha ha!
Not much else to say here, however, do throw me some comments if you'd like to add to this or if you have any thoughts or memories to share.
later.
ps. here's the link to those articles if you're interested in reading on further.
http://www.avclub.com/features/whatever-happened-to-alternative-nation/
pps. For the record, the Smashing Pumpkins "Siamese Dream" is the seminal album of that time period, nothing can touch it.
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