Ughhh. so depressing....

Firstly I want to point out how much I love my new iPhone. Whomever the dork out there is who came up with the idea for this little bundle of adult joy truly needs to be hugged and kissed repeatedly or given some sort of oral sex, depending on which sex he or she is. I'm serious by the way. This fucking little toy blows my mind, I mean you can talk to your bud while searching for porn (hehe...if you know me y'know I'm not a
fan, but I mean come on that blip wouldn't have sounded as good had I used another example). Any who, I will admit that writing on your blog while using said toy is fun but tiresome. Where am I going with this?

Oh yeah, as my title will announce for you, I am depressed. Why? Well let me see, it's not summer just yet, I'm officially 30 and I can't hear out of my right ear (more on that in a later post). But hey those particulars are nothing compared to the article I've just read about the worlds greatest Pinot noir makers, Domaine de la Romanee Conti. Burgandies finest has proved insatiable for decades now. Producing the best Pinot imaginable. As an avid wine lover I'd always dreamt of tasting or sampling a bottle, but as I've learnt today that dream may never happen. Why? Because the shit is way more expensive than I'd originally thought, way more!

Okay so you're sitting there going," that's it, that's why you're upset, grow up" but I mean come on, this is sad, it's like learning that you, said grade 9 dork student will never ever have a chance at lacy lane the schools prettiest girl. I mean if you can't dream than what's the point in living. Okay so that might be a tad over dramatic but well you get my point.

To give you some idea of how expensive a bottle goes for think of this, a bottle of La Tache from 1990 went for a stagering 22,000 DOLLARS!!!! For ONE bottle!!!! Yikes!!! You rich french bastards, how dare you sell your wine that high, have you forgotten about the common man? Grrrrr! I do get it however, Yaletown rich pigs who drink grey goose need some expensive wines to boast to show off for
their hussy girlfriends. I get it. :)

Ah but I have a plan, I'm gonna move to France, use my french(thank you mom) and steal me some. The movie Robin Hood is coming out soon and I feel a little Russel Crowe in me. Speaking of Mr. Crowe, I actually met the guy once in Toronto. He was there filming the crap movie Cinderella man. I was out with my buddy one night at this bar called Hemingways, we were having a great time, being merry and such when all of a sudden i've gotta take a piss. Surprise, surprise!! Anyways while alone in said washroom relieving myself, in steps mr.
Crowe. Not realizing at first who'd just come in,( I was peeing so I couldn't see), when all of a sudden Russ is standing next to me with his Johnson out. Drunk as a skunk the boy peed away while babbling on and on. Standing there in such a precarious way I wasn't sure what to do, I mean how often do you get such a big celebrity right next to you all alone. Once, maybe twice in a lifetime. But how to proceed?

Before I continue I must list for you the edicate of the male urinal, especially for all you woman out there. Well it isn't a list per se but merely a guideline, keep your eyes forward or down and never ever look to your right or left. Sounds simple enough. Break these rules and you risk either seeing something very humourous or a black eye. Humourous usually happens...well at least that's what I've heard. Wink! Wink! :

Anyways so there I was, looking dead ahead trying to find a way in, what do i do? What do I do? It's my only chance! But just as I was about to Blurb out some stupid one liner, Russ jumps in and says "what's up?".

What? What? Who says that in the Jon?

Anyways, my celebrity drunkard companion finished before I did and left promptly after. So here in is my point, one I can really pee, what the hell Jamie, he started after you and finished before you! Second was my perplexed demeanour after his hello, I was at a loss, just as if I were in grade 9 and lacy lane had come in contact with me and said hi, I'd have been stunned and full of "bahhh ummm"

Anyways back to my robbery, I go in all bats styles and jump ship with a few cases. Easy peacy! Okay so I'm kidding, but it would be fun. Maybe I could piss on the grapes while I was in there. Hehe. :)

Long story short, I need to make more money!

Later.