a skewed version of two friends and one memorable night

Jack: Hey have you talked to that girl tonight, maybe you should call her and see if she’s there yet?
Michael: No I haven’t talked to her yet, and I don’t want too.
Jack: Why not! Come on bro don’t worry about what she’ll think, give her a call, let her know that you’re interested.
Michael: You think? I don’t know, she knows I’m going to be there, and I just don’t want her to think I’m dying to see her, girls don’t like it when you come on too strong.
Jack: You’re right with that one to a point, but they also like it when you seem interested as well, there’s nothing wrong with letting her know that you like her, hey she may like it, y’know, letting her know just exactly how much you’re looking forward to seeing her.
Michael: So you think she’s expecting me to call?
Jack: Expecting yes, but dying for more likely, so come on here, take my phone and call her now and see if she’s left yet, it’s what now, 7:50pm, the show doors open soon, so what I figure she’s probably getting ready to leave with hopefully her really hot friends, therefore I say call her and ask her to meet us out front of the Odeon ASAP that way we can get some quality chatting up time before the show gets going. The way I see it, Black Rebel most likely won’t be going on until 10:30, so therefore we should have a couple hours to get the ball rolling between you two.
Michael: Uhh! Fuck you irritate me sometimes, but in some way I get your point, here give me that phone and watch me work my charm.
Jack: There we go, alright call her now, I’m going inside to get the tickets, and don’t forget to mention me to her friends; oh and that Tammie friend of hers is fucking hot, ask if she’s coming too?
Michael: Alright, alright I got it, now go, the phone’s ringing.
(Michael calls Jessica, Jack goes inside)
Jessica: Hello
Michael: Hey uh, hi Jessica, this is Michael, Michael Wood
Jessica: Oh hey Michael, what’s up?
Michael: Oh not much, just on my way to the show with Jack and I thought I would uh, um I mean call you to say howdy.
(Michael is beat red)
Jessica: Oh that was sweet of you, are you and Jack excited to see the band?, I’ve heard that they put on quite a show.
Michael: Oh Yeah it should be fun, you’re still coming tonight right?
Jessica: Oh well about that, you see my dad and I had a huge fight tonight about my missing class the past few days, and well you see I’ve been grounded, so no I guess I’m not going to be coming, I was gonna call you, but I didn’t have your number, so I guess it’s great that you called.
Michael: Oh, I see, uh well that sucks I was really hoping to see you, are you sure that you can’t come?.
Jessica: Yeah, I’m pretty sure, my dad’s kinda nuts and if he caught me going out tonight, well hell I’m not sure what he’d do, but hey I can go out with you tomorrow if you’re still interested, he only grounded me for tonight.
Michael: Interested, oh yeah I’m still interested, you have no idea...uh I mean yeah sure I can meet you out tomorrow sometime.
Jessica: Well then, how about you call me tomorrow and we’ll settle it up.
Michael: Yeah phone you tomorrow, sure, I can do that, no problemo here on my end on that one, phone you for sure, yes yes I will call you, yes.
Jessica: Uhh...okay Michael I’ve got to go, I’ll talk to you later.
Michael: Oh, uhh sure by Jessica, you be good now so I can call you tomorrow you see.
Jessica: Bye now.
Michael: Bye bye bye Jessica.
(Jack hangs up the phone disgustingly, he feels like a fool, so he flops his head on the steering wheel, almost crying at his pathetic performance on the phone, Jack re-enters the car, alive and full of energy)
Jack: Hey I’ve got the tickets! We’re all set, hey did you call her? Michael what are you doing? What’s up? Why do you have your head in the steering wheel?
(Michael looks up at Jack not saying anything, his face says it all)
Jack: I take it that you called her and that it went great, ah fuck Michael what did you say?
Michael: Dude you have no idea of how much of a retard I sounded, I told you I shouldn’t have called her.
Jack: Why, what did you say? I mean please I know you can be mister foot in the mouth sometimes with the lady folk but seriously how bad could it have been?
Michael: Okay it wasn’t that bad, the conversation went pretty well at the beginning, we only talked for about 3 minutes, she seemed happy and chipper, I asked her how she was doing, and then I asked if she was still coming to the show tonight, and then she said that she couldn’t because her dad had grounded her, but that she could hang tomorrow night if I was still interested.
Jack: Well fuck man what’s the problem, that sounds pretty good to me, and shit dude it even sounds like she might actually like you.
Michael: Yeah but that’s it, after that I basically mumbled my way into saying that I was desperately hoping to see her, I think I came across as some stalker type, because all of a sudden she just froze and said that she had to go.
Jack: Bro I’m sure it’s fine, from what I gather this girl seems into you and so what if you came across as a stalker retard, at least you called her, and hey you’ll go and see her tomorrow and this will all work out for the best, you’ll see, shit it has to, one of us has to get some ass soon. Did you ask about any of her friends?
Michael: You ungrateful fuck; all you care about is yourself and the next piece of ass that you can rub yourself up next to.
Jack: Yeah! So! I’m young, handsome and 24, so what, you’re no different, we both want the same thing, and at least I can rub up against a girl without getting a stiffy unlike you who has absolutely no control, I mean come on bro what are you 12, you really need to fix that.
Michael: Fuck You! I hate when you bring that up, it’s not my fault and anyways, let’s just go, I don’t want to think about this anymore.
Jack: Good. Finally. Let’s bogie, and find us some booty, and don’t worry about it, you’ll be fine.
Michael: Yeah you’re right, she seemed into me, this is good, I’m just overreacting; she probably just had to go.
Jack: There we go, positive, at a boy, now let’s focus on tonight and the concert and all the girlies we’ll be meeting.
Michael: I swear we must be the biggest losers in the world sometimes.
Jack: Maybe, but who cares, at least we’re pretty.
(Michael and Jack drive to the show and park just off 2nd ave, by the Galaxy theatres, they get out and walk to the Odeon, they notice a huge crowd outside and get excited at what the night could become, by now it's 8:15pm. Jack and Michael enter the crowd, but realize that they do not know anyone quite well enough to merit them stopping and chatting, they recognize a few faces, but ultimately decide to go on in and see the opening band. After their ticket exchange and coat checking, they move on towards the bar, where they are surprisingly met with one of Jack’s few ex girls who is working the bar)
Michael: Hey bro doesn’t that look like Irina?
Jack: What? Where?
Michael: There at the bar, isn’t that her? I’m pretty positive it is; I thought she moved to Montreal?
Jack: Oh fuck me, that is her! Shit she looks good, and yeah last I heard she moved away to Montreal to go to fashion school at McGill.
Michael: Dude she’s pretty hot, it’s funny how I never really noticed that before, it’s weird how I never check out any of your girls, to me they’re nothing, I don’t even look at them.
Jack: Yes, yes I’ve heard this a million times, and I appreciate it, I guess, but you have to be blind not to see how hot she is, she has to be the hottest girl in the city, or at least one of them.
Michael: Really you think? I don’t know, she’s hot but I don’t know I never really took to blondes, brunettes to me are way hotter.
Jack: Hey I never said that I liked blondes more, I love brunettes, I was just merely stating that Irina is fucking hot.
Michael: Whatever then, are you going to go over and say something to her, who knows she might still like you, if I remember correctly she did leave you kind of abruptly.
Jack: Yeah she did, but I don’t know, I just don’t want to come across as some ex boy she hooked up with a long time ago still obsessing, I mean she might not even remember me.
Michael: Well here`s the cool thing, she`s the bartender and we need a drink, so let`s go kill two birds with one stone.
Jack: Alright, you’re probably right, and hey like you said she might still like me, but what do I say?
Michael: Bro, just be yourself, remember why she liked you in the first place way back when at Earls, it was because you were you, you didn’t try and feed her a ton of bs and pick up line garbage that most guys would do
Jack: You remember that first night when she made that move towards me?, that was pretty hot
Michael: Do I remember? Shit bro, I was the one who drove you there to meet her; you’re the asshole who made me wait in the car while you were upstairs with her.
Jack: Hey I never meant to do that, I was just pre-occupied.
Michael: Whatever, let’s go, I need to get a drink, it will help me relax, I don’t want to be high strung.
(Jack and Michael walk over to the bar and order drinks, Michael approaches Irina first, with Jack right beside him, Jack’s looking away from Irina onto the stage)
Michael: Uh hey can I get a double vodka sprite and a vodka red bull please?
(Irina starts making the drinks, Jack finally looks over as she’s looking down, they finally meet eyes, Irina notices him immediately, Jack tries to stay calm)
Jack: Oh hey Irina how are you?
Irina: Hey Jack, I didn’t notice you there, how are things? You look great.
Jack: Oh things are good, when did you get back into town?
Irina: Oh I’m not back in town, I’m just back for a couple weeks visiting my family, I’m just working here tonight as a favour for friend. I’m leaving back to Montreal on Sunday.
Jack: Uh that’s cool; it’s nice to see you, you look great and is it me or does it seem like forever since we last saw one another.
Irina: You’re right about that, in fact what are you both doing tonight after the show, there’s gonna be a huge party at my friends place, you two should come.
Jack: Yeah sure that’d be fun; Michael and I are always looking to party, you remember Michael right, he worked at Earls too.
Irina: Oh hey Michael hi, I remember you, you look really great, I like your hair that long, it looks good on you. You were good friends with Amy weren’t you?
Michael: Yeah, she and I go way back, nice to see you again.
Irina: Great, well I’ve got to get back to work here, why don’t you two come back later and we’ll talk more.
Jack: Cool, we’ll drop by later.
(Michael and Jack leave the bar, Irina continues on working, she’s starting to get busy)
Michael: Hey bro, nice! That was awesome, she’s seems into you.
Jack: You think? I tried not sounding like an idiot, I just want redemption, a little fun and that’s it, no getting attached like last time.
Michael: Good so don’t, now let’s worry about me and what I should do about tonight.
Jack: How so, you already talked to Jessica and she’s not coming out tonight, so what is it that we need to worry about?
Michael: I don’t know, I guess it just sounded appropriate, well whatever though I might as well enjoy the show, seeing as the only reason I wanted to come here tonight isn’t even coming.
Jack: There we go boy, me you and a ton of girlies, who knows the night could be fun and hey I know that you like Jessica and all, but remember what you always say to me, don’t put all your eggs in one basket too soon, mingle a little, keep your options open, see a few girls, and then if one stands out that you find yourself liking more than drop the others like a dime, however not before you hit em’ first, I don’t want you wasting your time now.
Michael: Okay, okay I get your point, now shut up and let me relax and have a good time. Let’s go to the upstairs part and see what’s going on, this opening band sucks
Jack: Word.
Michael: Word? Nice one Vanilla ice!
Jack: Shut up!
(Jack and Michael start parading around the Odeon looking for people they know or recognize. Jack eventually goes to the bathroom, ultimately leaving Michael alone. He’s standing by the upstairs bar when he’s approached by someone from behind who taps him on the shoulder)
Ashley: Hey Michael is that you?
(Michael startled)
Michael: Oh hey, what’s up? (Doesn’t recognize her)
Ashley: How are you? You look great; I haven’t seen you in so long, what have you been up to?
Michael: Oh not much, just chillin’, working at the Freehouse.
Ashley: You don’t remember me do you? I’m Ashley, your Aunt Hilary’s husband’s daughter; I’m your sort of cousin. I know it’s been a long time since we’ve seen each other, but I thought you would have remembered me.
(Michael realizes that he does remember her, barely from some family thing 10 or so years ago)
Michael: Oh hey I’m sorry, I did and do, you just caught me off guard that’s all, I remember now, sheesh it’s got to be what 10 years or so since I last saw you. Didn’t your family move to Vancouver or something?
Ashley: Oh we did, we’re still there, I’m just back for the weekend visiting some friends and family.
Michael: Cool, well that sounds great, who are you here with?
(Jack returns, he sees Michael talking to Ashley, he notices that she’s really hot and somewhat happy to be talking to Michael. Jack smiles slyly, he takes his time walking over to them)
Ashley: Oh I’m here with my friends Megan, Jen and Katie, they’re around here somewhere. They dragged me out tonight, they’re all huge Black Rebel fans, me I could care less, plus we were up late last night having a big girls night, so in a way I feel like shit. I’m still trying to decide if I even want to drink at all tonight.
Michael: It’s funny that you say that, because my best friend Jack did the very same thing to me tonight, he’s around here as well...
(Jack jumps in when he hears his name being said, the two of them startled by his sudden arrival)
Jack: Michael what are you saying about me to this pretty girl, it had better be nice or I’ll have to embarrass you by saying that you used to cry after watching The Little Mermaid.
Michael: What? No wait a second, I was what 11 at the time and hey that’s nothing to be laughing about, that’s a good movie, at least I don’t watch the Notebook and cry like a little sissy.
Ashley: Well I can certainly tell that this must be your friend Michael, hi I’m Ashley, and you must be...
Jack: Jack, Jack Bones.
Ashley: Is that really your name.
Jack: Sure is darlin’, ain’t it majestic.
Michael: You’re such a fag.
Jack: What? Moi, never, I just have a certain panache that unfolds from time to time, something the ladies like to call charm.
Michael: Whatever you call it, cool it, you’re going to scare Ashley off, you know she’s kind of my cousin, well second cousin that is, through marriage.
Jack: Oh so your part of the family are you Ashley? Excellent! I can always use another girl on my side of the fence to help me flirt with the next cutie on my list.
(Michael is now looking at Jack very annoyingly)
Michael: Uh sorry Ashley, he hasn’t had his medicine tonight.
Jack: Oh whatever, your life would be so boring if I wasn’t this unique.
Michael: Really? You think so? Then if that’s the case why are you still single? Because surely a man of your considerable talents can coax any young girl into your arms; or maybe, just maybe is it that you may be a little high on yourself for well...no good reason.
Ashley: Ohh I love this, you two fight like a married couple.
Michael: We do not!
Ashley: Hey don’t worry, I like it, it’s cute.
Jack: You see Michael, she said I was cute, told you so.
Michael: She didn’t say you fuck head, she meant us.
Jack: Oh, Oops, silly me.
Michael: Anyways, Ashley do you want to hang with us for a bit?
Ashley: Sure, you two seem awesome, I love hanging with fun people.
Michael: Awesome, well then let’s get some shooters, I need to get going.
Jack: Hey bro no jagermeister, I’m sick of that shit, get some jamesons instead.
Michael: What? Come with us you bitch, we’re not your maids.
Jack: But I think I might stick around here and watch the opening band finish.
Michael: Fuck that, get over here you baby, we’re just doing some shots, you can watch them from at the bar.
Jack: No, just bring them over here, why do you need me to come with you guys, plus you two are family you need time getting re-acquainted.
Michael: Just come on.
Ashley: Yeah Jack come with us, it’ll be fun, I’ll even buy the shots.
Jack: You’ll buy, well then why didn’t you say so, let’s bogie on then.
Michael: Oh now you’ll come, fuck you drive me nuts sometimes.
Jack: I must be the only pair you have, ah how sad.
Ashley: You two really are married, I love it.
Michael: If that’s true then I’m about ready to divorce this bitch.
Jack: I ain’t the bitch, you are, I’m the giver, you’re the taker ala Jake Gyllenhal in Brokeback Mountain, mmm you are one fine piece of ass.
Michael: Gross, quit it.
(Michael, Jack and Ashley arrive at the bar and wait in line, they wait 2 minutes and then order shots and drinks, Ashley pays for them all, not without Michael trying to pay for some, Jack stands by and collects his free beverage. They do a round of shots together)
Jack: Ah now I feel better, good choice on the shots Ashley, what were they?
Michael: Uh fuck head they were Sicilian kisses and she didn’t pick them, I did.
Ashley: Yeah Jack, sorry to disappoint you but Michael picked them, but I’m happy to pick the next round if you’d like.
Jack: Word on that, because it sounds like a certain someone has his panties in bunch.
Michael: Uhh whatever, let’s go, I think we’re in the way.
Jack: Finally! Let’s go down below and try and get close to the stage, I want to watch them as close as I can.
Michael: You’re not going to lose it and do that jumping up and down dancing bs you always do are you?
Jack: What ever do you mean?
Michael: I mean that kangaroo up and down thing you do when you’re listening to music.
Ashley: Ah that sounds cute.
Jack: See Michael, Ashley thinks it’s cute, so layoff, at least I’m willing to have fun.
Michael: Hey I like to have fun, I’m just trying to prevent you from looking like an idiot, at least I can dance, what you do, that ain’t dancing.
Jack: Oh really, well first off when was the last time you went to a show? What 10 years ago, and I’ve been to how many? At least a hundred, so let’s just keep those yap comments to yourself, I know what I’m doing and I love having fun, you should try it sometime.
Ashley: Boys, boys no need to get angry at one another, let’s just go down there and have a good time, actually I think I see my girl friends down there, so come on
Michael: We’re not fighting
Jack: No, were good, were just talking, this is how we always talk.
Ashley: Well it sounded like fighting to me.
Michael: Oh sorry Ashley, no that’s just Jack and I ripping on another, it’s how we talk, I guess, basically we just bitch at one another until someone changes the subject.
Ashley: Oh, okay; are you sure you two aren’t married?
Jack: Eww, me marry this monkey armed bitch hip punk, gross, he wishes I’d get down and suck his cock.
Michael: Okay Jack whatever, no need to gross out Ashley now
Jack: Why not, it’s fun.
Ashley: Oh I think I’m going to love you Jack.
Jack: They all do sweetie, they all do.