I've posed this question aloud to myself so many times lately that it has got me thinking about its context. What does it mean to dine? And how does this differ from you and I? I like to think of myself as some what of an inquisitive type, y'know someone who's always curious and ignited by what drives people to do what they do. I find it fascinating watching other people eat, whether it be by the way they hold their knife and fork, to how they hold their wine glass, if they chew with their mouths open or closed, to how they sit, etc... I'm confident that I'm not alone in this, we all watch and copy one another, it's what makes us human. So with that, I've become transfixed lately as to what others consider dining. Confused? Let me explain. You see I grew up in what I term the "TV family setting", we ate just in front of the TV. We were not your traditional lets all get together, sit as a family, talk, grow and celebrate type. Okay celebrate might be a little to emphatic but you get the idea. My point here isn't so much as what type of setting we convened together in, but mostly that we never dined as a family. We were that family who loved one another but never showed it, and if we did it would be in passing or on holidays. Don't get me wrong I love my family, but the question I have is did we as a society lose sight of the dining experience?
Maybe I've been watching too many old Full House reruns or something, but I find it fascinating watching and listening to people talk about how they dine or for that matter how they eat. Not saying that one is better than the other, I just feel in some way that my family missed out on something; we never came together. For example, my little sis and her husband came to visit me this past week. We went out a few times for dinner and it fascinated me to no end at how seemingly uncomfortable they felt while being in this environment. Not that they never went out to eat, but how the setting, the whole process took them some getting used to. The last night in particular was by far the most revealing, as I decided to throw them for a loop and take them to Trattoria by Italian Kitchen in Kitsilano. Trattoria is no fine dining by any stretch but its up there, good quality food and service in a very busy atmosphere. When we arrived, the place was nuts, we ended up waiting in the lounge for 30 minutes, something I quite enjoy. Maybe I'm different or getting old or something but I thought, hey this will be fun, sit back grab a drink, chat and wait to get a table. My sis and her husband, bless them both jumped in, reluctantly some but they did so nonetheless. As we discussed our drink selections, I got the sense that the two of them felt out of place and uncomfortable as to our current situation. To which got me thinking as to why? We're just 3 kids out for some good time, a bite and a little convo, why feel bad for that? But I could tell they did, they had trouble understanding the menu, what to order and how to act, which I found to be wrong and sad. I love them both dearly and I wanted them to be themselves and to have fun, I just wanted to show them something different. We could have gone to Denny's, Vera Burger, Earls, you name it but I wanted them to see something they normally would never see or do. Isn't that the whole point of life? To grow and learn. Any who, enough preachy, we ended up doing quite well, they had a great meal and I had a good time, perfect!
But afterwords this event got me thinking, when did the great dine die off? It's easy to go out and order, wolf down your food and leave and say you went out for dinner. Hell we do it all the time, but how often do we actually sit back, chew our food, pause, listen, talk and celebrate each other together. In a sense this is one reason why I got sick of going to clubs with my buddies, we'd go sit in this loud ass room, while never talking due to the noise, thus never really enjoying one anothers company. It's why to this day I always prefer to sit in a lounge, have a glass of vino and a good crew to sit back and chat with. For me there's nothing better. Yes this may not be dining but it's a way of interacting, something we all crave as human beings, those bonds. I've worked in the service world for sometime now and well I'd say I've become somewhat of an expert on human interaction and I find it amazing at how many people go out for diner and never really dine. At the sushi bar this used to drive me nuts, people would come in and order 10 rolls, mow them down and then book it. Why? Are we just starving animals incapable of dining anymore? Have we moved so far into the capitalist movement that our time has now become such a priority that enjoying one anothers company has now become just a holiday affair?
This whole idea brings me back to a clip from the film "The Bridges over Madison County". In one scene Meryl Streep's character calls her family in for dinner. They all arrive and just dig in, never speaking just eating, they finish and then leave, with her sitting there totally unsatisfied and in a way feeling used. I found this scene to be so sad, it reminded me of what my family used to be like and how so many others are. With regards to my sis and her hubby in a way I felt that our dining was so new to her and him that it was the dining to which made them feel uncomfortable not the setting and what not. But as we left I could sense they had really enjoyed it, we'd made a connection, something I feel we all needed.
With that I'm left to think am I alone in feeling this way or has the term dining just taken on a new meaning, now left to the odd moment or event. Are we now a species incapable of interaction? Who knows, but I sure hope I don't end up like that old couple who never utters one word to each other as they eat out. That's the most depressing thing ever and I've seen it countless times over.
This post isn't to point fingers or to make me look smarter than my sis or anyone else, I've just been racked lately with the idea of how we all dine. Think about it.
later.
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